The NHL, The IRL, & The First Bye Week
SARACEN PIG! SPARTAN DOG!
And that’s for Alanis Morrisette’s pain!
And that’s for the Sta-Puff Marshmellow Man!
The preceding is offered with appropriate apologies to Keith Olbermann, and
illustrates how the NHL invaded Bristol, TN for the Palm Sunday weekend. No, not
the National Hockey League, I’m talking about the OTHER NHL – the NASCAR Hockey
League.
You see, over a quarter-million went to Bristol to see a hockey game, and a
stock car race broke out.
CHECK, PLEASE!
So they did, and when it was over they STILL didn’t quite top the car-nage
(pun) of Darlington, but they sure came close.
But these big-league stock car drivers have no class. Kevin Harvick looked
like an amateur vaulting into Greg Biffle after the race like that. He should
have taken advice from Stafford SK Modified racer Chris Jones – a few years back
he got dumped by Ted Christopher and he vaulted his car over Teddy and almost
over the backstretch signage – when I asked him about it later that year he
deadpanned, "I gave it everything I got."
And Harvick and Biffle looked like pantywaists compared to real men like
Dominik Hasak and Patrick Roy – you know it’s a good brawl when the goalies
fight.
Harvick did have a legit beef with Biffle – but Geez Louise, Har-vey, did you
have to take it out on John Andretti on Sunday? These RAD cars must have had a
thing against Petty Dodges on Sunday after Buckshot Jones got Steve Parked on
the fourth lap.
Then there was The Voodoo Doll. You know, that doll that’s dressed in Dupont
colors? Some brunette chick named Jennifer has it; I saw her sticking needles in
it – and said something about seeing Lara Parker doing that on an old TV show to
Jonathan Frid – about the time that #24 car crashed at Bristol. I thought I saw
that doll with needles at Darlington, too.
Then there was Junior and Robby Gordon, and boy was Junior POed. Then there
was Sterling Marlin and Johnny Benson, and Elliott Sadler and Kyle Petty, and
when it was all said and done it comes down to this – Harvick, Biffle, Junior,
Sterling, Benson, and all three Gordons (Robby, Tom Cruise, and Nicole Kidman)
will meet again next weekend in the Big K Parking Lot on FOX Celebrity Boxing
for a tag-team grudge cage match co-promoted by Bruton Smith and Don King.
Bristol is short track racing on steroids and as such is always a rip-roaring
show.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the continent we had an actual race going on.
The Indy Racing League debuted at Fontana in front of a disappointing-sized
crowd. Too bad, for those that didn’t attend missed a helluva race. The IRL cars
didn’t draft as well as the Hanford-winged CART cars, plus having never raced at
Fontana before they seemed to spend the first two-thirds-plus of the race just
feeling out the track – this even though the lead changed hands over 24 times in
that span.
The last 50 laps were the real fight, and at times it looked like a typical
IRL Texas wheel fight as Sam Hornish, Eddie Cheever, Jacques Lazier, and others
went at it, passing and repassing and at times trying to stack up four wide
entering the turns. That Dupont voodoo doll must have begun life as an Eddie
Cheever doll the way Cheever can never catch a break – with perhaps the
strongest car on the track and a sure shot at winning, the engine let go, and it
came down to a three-lead-change final lap won by Hornish over Lazier by six
feet.
The big story in IRL right now is Penske vs. Panther, and those cats at
Panther Racing are now two for three this season while Penske at Fontana looked
more lucky than good to finish in the top five. John Menard’s team came back
with a vengeance and Cheever Racing will certainly win races this year despite
their early bad luck.
So with the first bye week of the NASCAR season, where does Winston Cup
stand?
It stands with a former champion on the outside looking in, a formerly
winless driver on the verge of a title, a strong rookie class, two top-caliber
teams all but dead without sponsors, the sport’s toughest driver banged up and
needing a relief driver at Bristol, and things not going the way the
prognosticators said they would in January.
How they stack up –
Chevrolet – RCR/DEI/APR, Hendrick, Morgan-McClure –
In a combined thirteen events in NASCAR’s three big league divisions this
season to date, Chevrolet has just two wins, both by Richard Childress, both in
Grand National. RCR had the only Chevy to show anything at Rockingham and RCR
and DEI had Chevy’s best finishes of the first six races, at Atlanta and
Darlington. Their colleague Andy Petree, meanwhile, struggles with one team
parked and the other struggling almost everywhere, and the prospect of the team
going to someone else on the horizon.
Hendrick Motorsports has also had some good numbers from rookie Jimmie
Johnson, but their and GM’s designated champ, Jeff Gordon, dominated Darlington
but got crash damage, led at Bristol then faded and then crashed, led Daytona
but chopped off Marlin and crashed, and in general has looked less than
competitive.
But Gordon’s slump to date doesn’t match the collapse of Morgan-McClure, a
team floundering with little to look forward to right now and which may become a
Hendrick satrapy the way the Wood Brothers team became a Roush Racing satrapy.
It all adds up to a factory program in turmoil, competitive only in spots and
needing rule changes to gain some momentum – they needed the two inch kick out
of 2000 to get anything going, and they have to hope the additional 1.25 inches
gained in the inspection room will ignite something at Texas.
DODGE – Ganassi/SABCO, BDR, Evernham, Petty
Without question Petty Enterprises is the most improved team in Winston Cup,
posting increasingly solid numbers week after week. Team GM Robin Pemberton made
clear he would emphasize depth, and it shows in steadily improving efforts by
fellow Lollipop Kid Kyle Petty and the mini-breakout by Buckshot Jones from
Vegas on; John Andretti slumped surprisingly after Rockingham and his plan for
an Indy-Charlotte double was vetoed.
Ganassi/SABCO is Dodge’s point men in the title chase, and Sterling Marlin
has gelled into a serious title contender with two wins and consistent power
despite Bristol’s cut-tire dip. Teammate Jimmy Spencer has also rebounded from
his Daytona DNQ with some solid efforts leading to a POed second at Bristol and
a not-to-subtle vow to dump Kurt Busch first chance he gets.
Bill Davis Racing pounced on opportunity to win the Daytona 500 and usually
runs in the top ten, but had a rough outing at Bristol; Hut Stricklin’s running
fight to get his lap back was his best effort since his top-six at Michigan last
June.
Ray Evernham’s team has struggled to gel, despite Jeremy Mayfield’s
spectacular effort at Vegas; the Casey Atwood mini-saga continued with a crew
chief change – and another in the rumor mill – and a good run at Bristol.
One other team is fielding Dodges, but Beth Ann Morgenthau’s team and driver
Shawna Robinson have been an embarrassment.
FORD – Roush, Yates, Penske, Wood Brothers, Carter-Haas
Of Ford’s five big league NASCAR wins (two in Winston Cup) in three divisions
this season, all have come from the Roush fleet, culminating in the arrival of
Kurt Busch as a Winston Cup star at Bristol. From a grocery stock boy in 1998 to
Roush Racing Gong Show contestant to Craftsman Truck winner to Winston Cup
winner, it’s been a dizzying trip for the Vegas native. Teammate Matt Kenseth
delivered at The Rock but got fined for low roof height.
Robert Yates’ bunch clearly hurt more than most from the bump-stop ban, and
Jarrett’s season got worse at Bristol, while Ricky Rudd salvaged something for
Robert with a great third, but like everyone else was POed, with Sterling Marlin
over crowding for Jimmy Spencer.
Roger Penske has had a quiet season by previous standards, but Rusty Wallace
is solid in points and Ryan Newman is the superior of the rookies this season.
The Wood Brothers are running like David Pearson is driving for them. They
haven’t won yet, but two seconds in six races is pretty darn good, and Lil David
The Giant Killer IS consulting with the Woods, primarily for Jon Wood. Kyle
Petty may have had that plus the 2001 Southeastern 500 finish in mind when he
said HELLO to Elliott Sadler; it’s only appropriate in a fight-marred Bristol
weekend – Petty Enterprises vs. The Wood Brothers, the fight of the century.
Having no such luck is Travis Carter; ten years removed from the loss of his
team the last time, he faces that prospect again with no sponsor on the horizon
for Joe Nemechek and his #66 team shut down.
Among others running Fords, Brett Bodine brought back some memories with
Hooters backing on his Fords, while Rick Mast has been irrelevant in Junie
Donlavey’s Ford, a car that looks less well financed than usual for that team.
PONTIAC – JGR, MBV, Foyt Racing
Tony Stewart delivered Pontiac’s lone win so far in a spirited Atlanta
shootout but his title bid was derailed by the Darlington crash. He toughed it
out at Bristol more than any driver has in years, but fatigue likely contributed
to his spin – and how did those other cars miss him? – and he had to get out of
the car, so you know he’s REALLY hurting. Bobby Labonte salvaged a good finish
for Joe Gibbs.
The Morton-Bowers-Valvoline team had a less than stellar day at Bristol and
between Johnny Benson and Ken Schrader has only one top ten. So far Daytona
remains the team’s only bright spot.
A.J. Foyt’s team continues to struggle with another bad day at Bristol.
So NASCAR finds itself entering its first bye week with Sterling Marlin as
the point leader by a stout margin. But we have 30 races to go.