Week 8 RacinDeals

MINORITY RULES: Well, NASCAR wanted to get more minorities in racing…
Supposedly Sunday there was a very high profile minority lawyer planning on
attending the race. I don’t know if he hung around on Monday to watch.

The fact that Johnnie Cochran is the lead lawyer for the small minority of
Speedway Motorsports shareholders who are suing NASCAR, ISC, and SMI because of
the lack of a mythical second Winston Cup date doesn’t help the sport any. We
know Cochran is good at getting double murderers off scott free; can he find a
judge that will break the "monopoly" of NASCAR/ISC? If so, then you
can say goodbye to the growth rate that NASCAR has experienced over the last
decade, and you can probably say goodbye to the sport as we know it.

If I’m NASCAR and I lose, then the first thing I would do would be to
immediately remove all non-ISC tracks from the schedule. Then basically, it’d be
a private series and Bruton and whoever could go start their own sanctioning
body, or host TRAC races to their heart’s content.

STILL THERE, STILL THERE: One wonders what the TV announcers were thinking
when they blamed Shawna Robinson for the wreck with Dale Earnhardt, Jr? 
She might have been a half-lane higher up than the car in front of her, but she held her
line. Little E’s spotter kept saying "still there, still there" even
during the wreck. I just don’t by the assumption that a car being passed should
just lay over and let the other car go. This is racing, right?

Sorry, but this was clearly the fault of the driver on the outside…. Little
Earnhardt.

CHANGE AN ENGINE, WIN THE RACE: Isn’t this the second time this year that a
race winner has been someone who changed an engine and had to start at the rear?
It’s obvious that teams are taking stronger engines with them to use as backup,
in case something just "happens" to go wrong with the primary one.
Didn’t NASCAR announce that there could be other penalties for changing engines?

MODIFY AN ENGINE, GET DQ’D: Class, today in Sanctioning Races 101,
we’ll talk about what to do when a car fails post-race inspection. The 800-pound
gorilla of the sport, NASCAR, has the philosophy, at least in their top three
racing divisions, of letting the team keep their finishing position (even if
it’s first), but fining the driver and crew chief a certain number of dollars.

However, another stock car sanctioning body, let’s call it the ASA, has a
different philosophy. In their most recent event at Irwindale Speedway, there
was evidence that Mike Cope’s sealed engine had been tampered with. Their
penalty? "The #25 team, which unofficially finished fifth in the ASA Racing
Series event, forfeits all owner and driver points and prize money from the
event as a result of the disqualification, plus an additional 100-point penalty,
pursuant to the ASA Racing 2002 Official Rulebook." But the #25 at least
got to keep 25th place, right? Nope. He’s listed as finishing 32nd in their official
results for the race.

Cope may be in for even more penalties. He refused to let the ASA officials
confiscate the engine, which is a big no-no. No announcement has been made yet
of what those penalties might be, but I would not be surprised if they suspended
him for a few races and fined him even more money.

So, which philosophy do you agree with? NASCAR’s or ASA’s?

THE WINSOME, LOSE SOME: Here’s a synopsis of the new rules for the
Winston: if it’s Friday, then the top seven cars from last year’s No Bull 5 will
invert to start the first leg of the race.  But, if there’s a full moon,
then only the top three cars from this year will be allowed to switch engines.
For a Saturday start, the crew chiefs from the top five in the points standings
will have to run a relay race in order to determine the number of starting spots
in the qualifying race, but only if they want to. Otherwise, all female drivers
are eligible, unless they’re not female, in which case I wouldn’t want to be
their boyfriend.
However, if the race finishes under green, the last lap will not count, and the
finish order will be determined by a blind man drawing pictures of the drivers,
and the first five drivers who can be identified will be considered when the
winner is announced.

Did you get that?

AHEAD OF THE CURVE: Tony Stewart insulted Alabama! Did you hear about
that? He called the fans there "obnoxious." The nerve. Why, he should just go back home to Indiana and stay there.

Wait a minute; that’s old news. I wrote
about that a month ago. Where’s everybody been?

I’M SORRY YOU’RE OBNOXIOUS: Ah, now I see that Stewart has "apologized."
Get this: in his world, "obnoxious" is a GOOD thing. So he was really
complimenting the race fans in Alabama. I guess we’re all just too stupid to
understand what he was talking about. 

Thanks for the clarification, Tony.

HOW LONG IS IT: So this furniture rental company is sponsoring the
500-mile Talladega race. But they’re calling it the Aarons 499? Somehow this
ties in with their monthly rental fee of $99.99 a month. But are they going to
race 500.08 miles (188 laps) or just 497.42 miles (187 laps)?

CALL ME CRAZY: I spent most of today (Thursday) at Nashville
Superspeedway watching the ARCA cars practice and qualify. The Busch Series is
there this weekend for Saturday’s race, and their only practice session starts
at 8 am local time Friday morning. The schedule that I got today didn’t have a
duration, so, against my better judgment, I figured I’d go to NASCAR’s web site
to see if they had a more detailed schedule.

That’s about the first time I’ve been there in a month, and it’s definitely
not improved. Not only did I not find a schedule for the Busch race weekend, I
only found one story about the race at all. Everything is geared toward the
Truck and Cup race. The site is less than useless, and I feel like sending
NASCAR or Ted Turner a bill for my time that I wasted.

WHO LET THE DOGS IN?: While I was sitting in the infield media center
at Nashville Superspeedway, a fellow came up with a dog. At first I thought it
was an aid dog. But it became obvious very quickly that it was a bomb-sniffing
dog. After talking with one of the two handlers
for a few minutes, I found out a few interesting things. He said that they get
their dogs from animal shelters and that it takes about a 1000 hours to train
one. He also said that it’s harder to train the handler than the dog, since the
human is more emotional than the dog.

Sadly, I’d say that their services are in quite a bit of demand at events
like this since September.

IN A DIFFERENT LEAGUE: Speaking of the ARCA race Friday, it’s gonna
take some bad luck on Frank Kimmel’s part for him to not win the race. He’s two
miles an hour faster than the second place starter. Clearly, he’s at the point
Tim Steele was a few years ago where the rest of the field is no match for him.
But his foray into Winston Cup has been a little shaky, to say the least.

By the way, he’s entered in the Cup race at Martinsville this weekend.
Someone else will qualify the car (possibly Joe Nemechek) and he’ll run happy
hour Saturday and start at the rear of the field. I’d call him a tweener; he’s
above ARCA but I’m not quite sure he’s ready for Cup. But we’ll see what happens
Sunday. For Friday, betting against him to win wouldn’t be smart money.

PASS ME THE WINSTON, PLEASE: There’s talk of The Winston (see
above) moving to another track next year, since the contract is up after the
upcoming one. There’s even talk that NASCAR might move it to Nashville
Superspeedway. What was it the fictional Wayne Campbell used to say? "And
monkeys might fly out of my butt."

However, with the SMI lawsuit (oops, they’re a
"defendant" so I guess I should say Francis Ferko’s lawsuit), NASCAR
(if they even have a say in it) could in fact choose to move the race to a
"friendlier" venue. But if they move it to an ISC track, that just
gives Cochran more fuel (and probably more money in the end). So that doesn’t
leave too many choices… Pocono, New Hampshire, and Dover are out because
they’re too far from Charlotte. Martinsville is the closest non-ISC track, but
it’s too small. So, what does that leave? In my unverified thinking, it looks
like Nashville Superspeedway is the closest superspeedway to Charlotte that’s
not owned by SMI or ISC. Hmm…I’d better be on the lookout for those monkeys.

THE BILL ELLIOTT AWARD: Bill Elliott, probably again recognizing what
a farce the NMPA Most "Popular" Driver Award is, had asked that his
name be removed from the balloting. Good for Bill.

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH: NASCAR, in a response to Bill Simpson’s
publicity lawsuit, basically has a pretty good defense if you ask me, and I’m
not even a lawyer. It’s called "the truth." Simpson’s belt played a
major role in the death of Dale Earnhardt. That can not be disputed.