It’s That Time Again

Again, here we sit a couple of days after the wild Talladega weekend,
wondering why the suits at NASCAR can’t get it through their thick heads that
this is not racing. Ask Mark Martin if he thinks it’s racing. Ask Bobby Labonte
or Tony Stewart if they think it’s racing. They did ask Jimmy Makar but I can’t
write the words he used to air his feelings about it all. We could ask Dale
Earnhardt but NASCAR killed him last year with this kind of racing. And we all
know he didn’t think it was racing at all.

It finally came crystal clear to me Sunday morning as I watched the pre-race
show that everything that happened on Saturday and Sunday is exactly what NASCAR
wants to happen. Ratings are the name of the game and NASCAR has shown that the
WWF has nothing on them when it comes to hype. The Speed Channel goes to great
lengths to show that the part of racing that they like the most is the crashes.
How many times over the past couple of months have we been entertained with the
sight of Tony Stewart’s car flying through the air at the 2001 Daytona 500?
Almost every single commercial they air that is touting their love of speed and
races focuses on the crashes that happen in those races. Of course, it comes as
no surprise when you consider that NASCAR has a big stake in The Speed Channel.

Ratings go through the roof at these four races each year because of the
uninitiated fans desire to see bloodshed and mayhem. I can’t be really positive
about this but, I think I heard cheering on Sunday as The Big One was happening.
This brings me back to the pre-race show. It was almost surreal to sit and
listen to the guys before the race talking about The Big One as if it were just
another part of racing. They sat there and fed everyone lies about how The Big
One occurred before restrictor plates. Yes guys, there was the occasional Big
One at these races, usually right after a green flag had turned loose a bunched
up field. However, you might see a Big One once a year that "might"
take out about ten cars.

Now, we get to listen to the guys in the booth talk about records and how
they had just smashed another one on Sunday with 24 cars. There was almost joy
in the voices of the announcers about how the record was 23 before Sunday’s
crash. Between that and the 27 cars involved on Saturday we saw over $10 million
worth of race cars reduced to junk in about fifteen seconds combined. Is it any
wonder that some teams are having a difficult time finding sponsors to stay
afloat? Hell, if I were a corporate hotshot, I think I could find much better
uses for my $10-15 million of advertising revenue, than to give it to a bunch of
idiots that are just going to go out and throw it away on a hiccup.

There have been many who have offered solutions to this kind of stupidity,
myself included. But, it seems that NASCAR has absolutely no intention of
listening to anyone but themselves.

Some have cried out, "Remove the plates!" Okay, it’s a solution.
Not the one I would offer but, it has its merits. Of course, I don’t care to see
any cars flying into the grandstands, so I won’t put my backing behind this one.

Others have screamed, "Lower the banking!" Now this one makes sense
on a lot of levels. No one is going to fly off the track into the parking lot
with lowered banking anymore than they do at California or Michigan or Atlanta
or Texas. They would just learn to drive the track differently than they do now.
I understand that most of the young ‘uns haven’t ever driven Daytona or Dega
without lifting off the gas but, I have faith in them. Being the great drivers
that they are, I’m sure they would get the hang of lifting going into turns one
and three. Then guess what happens? They go through the turns at about 160-170
mph, learn where to get back on the gas and they won’t reach 200 until they
reach the middle of the back straight. Seems way too easy, doesn’t it? Of
course, NASCAR can’t put their own seal of approval on this because they didn’t
come up with it, so they will go on looking for some elusive magic wand that
will make the cars go slower.

Another idea that has been brought up is to reduce the size of the engines.
The engine builders are absolute gods when it comes to getting almost 800
horsepower out of a carbureted engine. So, let’s test their godlike powers and
reduce the engines to 327 or 302 and see what they can do with those. My guess
is that it won’t be but ten years and the cars will be pushing 200 mph again.

But, NASCAR has proven time and time again that they think they know exactly
what they’re doing and it remains perfectly clear to the rest of us that they
haven’t got a clue in the world. They spend millions each year in wind tunnel
testing then go to the track and on a whim, chop a spoiler here or add a half
inch there. Without a shred of wind tunnel testing to back up their decision.
They only make these decisions because one group of owners is crying louder than
another. Do they really expect us to believe that the changes were made to the
cars this time around in the name of safety? Give us all a break. It was done
because the Chevys were getting dusted everywhere and it’s quite apparent that
Chevy is the official car of NASCAR. But they got what they wanted on Sunday
with four of the top five and ten of the top twenty starting spots going to
Chevy. Now they will smile and say everything is as it should be. Now they just
have to figure out how to get the Boy Wonder back on top of the standings and
all the suits can pat themselves on the back for a job well done.

As far as I’m concerned, I hope Sterling kicks all their asses. I can see
Sterling now after the Atlanta race, sitting out back of his hauler without a
shirt on, sippin’ on a Coors Light and saying unintelligibly, "My boys cook
up a hot car and we ran like a polecat wi’ its tail on far."

Not if NASCAR has its way.