Sofa Sideline – Another Way to Look at Dutton’s Dozen

Twelve things we know won’t happen during Speedweeks (but
will or should be considered):

1. Angry sportswriter, who disregards speedway announcers,
gets a clue that it’s not all about him/her.

2. Driver conducts entire interview without any
sportswriter’s perceived expectations.

3. Teams run the restrictor plate rules with no complaints.

4. Professional ballplayer gets an opportunity to
"carry on" like the rest of us crazy fans.

5. Driver goes through the entire press conference
answering every question with the question, "Do you really know what you
are talking about?"

6. Sterling Marlin and Ward Burton get to interview every
sportswriter who has mocked them on national television to see how they would
fare.

7. At the end of the day, NASCAR really reveals anything at
all.

8. Under pressure, Robert Yates reveals the words he would
really like to say to certain reporters. ("Bite me" comes to mind.)

9. Someone realizes that race fans remember
who won the Budweiser Shootout.

10. Jeff Gordon lets his real personality "shine
through" without thinking about it and gains more fans as a result.

11. Mark Martin stops being proud of his son and what he
has and will accomplish.

12. With time and the wisdom of age, Tony Stewart will not
realize that opinions of sportswriters do not matter in the greater scheme of
things – his ability behind the wheel and the kind of person he really is,
is what it’s all about.

That’s it for now.