The Spin Out Zone – Brooke Gordon and Jeff Hammond Get Bumped

Another racing week goes by and once again there are just too many people to
bump. I’ll let some of my peers share their opinions about the many weekly
topics from Muppetgate to debating whether or not Kevin Harvick is an idiot.
Hopefully, this week I’ll give you an escape from the same old stuff.

Hold on – here is the bump and the SPIN OUT!

Quick bump goes to – Mark Day!

Who? If you are a NASCAR fan, I highly recommend you reading Glen Harness’s
column RAW
RACINDEALS at Racindeals.com. When you’re done reading it, remember the
names, write them down and if any of these guys show up at a local track near
you, GIVE THEM A SPIN OUT! Ladies and gentlemen, if we ever wanted an example of
how NOT TO ACT, this Mark Day and his co-participants provide us a perfect case
study!

SPIN OUT – Jeff Hammond!

Yep, Mr. Spur’s himself, Jeff Hammond. After reading his column titled
"Problem with NASCAR Penalties" on Foxsports.com, I found myself
speechless. I really like Jeff and enjoy his work, however on this one he is
promoting the act of cheating. But of course Jeff is a past Winston Cup Crew
Chief and he made his life pushing the envelope. Like I have said in the past, I
have no problem pushing the envelope, but if you get caught, be prepared to pay
up.

In this case, Jeff does not understand how Jimmie Johnson and his team lost
25 driver and owner points for being penalized for "offset mounting bolts
for the front of the truck trailing arms" by NASCAR. NASCAR says that what
the #48 team did was "performance enhancing" and a message needed to
be sent throughout the garage. Who could disagree? Not me, I’ve been calling for
fines outside the typical collection of cash for a long time. But Jeff disagrees
with taking away points because the car never made it on the track. Like that
makes any sense Jeff. Here’s my take, if you prepare a car and you’re going
through INSPECTION, you are telling me, the fans and NASCAR that your car is
ready to race. They were caught going through the INSPECTION process Jeff! That
means if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Pay up #48!

Jeff mentions that trying to get away with cheating is a game between crew
chiefs and NASCAR and that was one of the reasons why NASCAR now has so many
templates, inspection sheets and inspectors. I’m thinking with the cost of doing
all this inspection work, maybe NASCAR is done with the game. Maybe the game is
pulling too many resources from NASCAR and now (HINT-HINT GARAGE) people will
pay the price. Jeff, bottom line big guy, take the hint – stop getting caught or
better yet, stop cheating!

SPIN OUT – Miss Winston, Ms. Frito-Lay (Remember that commercial with Jeff)
and Ms. Brooke Gordon!

Yes, I blame this "all in one" gal for all these Jeff Gordon
questions currently flying around the track: What’s wrong with Jeff? Why hasn’t
he won a race in last 20 races? Is his career on the decline? Does he look
lonely? (Okay, that one was added for his female fans.)

PEOPLE, enough! I was going to stay away from this topic, but thanks to FOX
and NBC and all the people whining about Jeff Gordon, I now have been forced to
speak my piece! Just remember I’M OUT OF CONTROL! (Maybe I’ll get an
unsportsmanlike conduct penalty from NASCAR and they’ll sit me down for the next
four weeks!)

To be honest Jeff Gordon fans, critics and analysts take notice: Jeff Gordon
is OKAY!

See my fellow NASCAR fans, I, the SPIN OUT guy, have it figured out. I know
you must be thinking that I’m a rocket scientist, but really I am just like you
– a normal everyday person that loves his sport. But, my opinion is the answer
to this very complex question lies with Brooke Gordon.

See the bottom line is Jeff Gordon is SANDBAGGING!

It’s okay Jeff Gordon fans. Sit down and don’t click on my email address just
yet. Take a deep breath, hear me out because it’s not so bad. ALL IS GOOD.
Remain calm.

Let’s be serious people, he is going through a DIVORCE and money is driving
the process. In an effort to keep what belongs to him, Jeff is attempting to
decrease the amount of revenue he’s bringing in.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the facts! His income is way down, according
to the numbers published on NASCAR.com and my high tech calculation – it’s down
23% from last year. He makes a ton of money off the NO BULL 5 and The Winston.
This year’s The Winston, he’s was very uncharacteristic and don’t blame the
SQUEEGEE! Actually, if Jeff is sandbagging, maybe this is SQUEEGEEGATE. Did he
do it on purpose? You have to admit it was kinda weird!

Now, you may come back and ask me, if he’s sandbagging why is he doing so
well? Well, I would have to say that when the divorce is said and done in the
next few months, he’ll be right there to take the championship. By not winning
races, he is not maximizing his revenues especially through incentives by being
last years champion.

But, he’s smart and you can’t blame him. In return, it’s a win-win. He wins,
Jimmie Johnson wins and the team wins. Why Jimmie? Well, Jimmie is walking away
with last year’s knowledge. Last year, Jeff won Dover, this year Jimmie wins
Dover. Last year, Jeff took 2nd in Fontana, this year Jimmie wins at Fontana.
Makes sense to me!

He decreases his income, stays in the point race and makes Dupont and Lowe’s
happy all at the same time. Not including or even asking why Brooke filed for
divorce in the first place – folks, Jeff is the man!

This weeks SPIN OUT goes to – Brooke Gordon!

Taking a revised scene from one of the best love stories ever filmed, Jerry McGuire:

The scene: Brooke Gordon standing in the kitchen (that Jeff is paying for)
next to the Cook (that Jeff is paying for) on the phone with her lawyer yelling:

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!"

Until next week, happy bumping!